Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
