Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
