My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I believe in your delicious
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
