Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
