4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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