u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
