There is no way he is gay with that hair.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
