You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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