he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
