I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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