Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
