thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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