my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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