i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
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