My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
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Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
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I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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