I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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