he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
