Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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