Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
