I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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