Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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