i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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