sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
