Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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