Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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