I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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