I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
