I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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