We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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