I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
