4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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