Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
