Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
