lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Randomize
