so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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