Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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