Non-Jews are for practice
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
