Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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