one two three fourrrrnication!
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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