I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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