new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
