You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
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I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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