I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
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And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
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no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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