ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
