TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
