I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
