This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
