If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize