Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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