My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
