I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
