We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize