Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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