then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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