There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
